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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

32nd Piece (Part Three)

This is the third and final part to the prompt

Write a story in which only five minutes pass between the beginning of the story and the end. Experiment with the ways in which you can draw out these five minutes, through interior monologue, flashbacks, switching between different points of view, and other storytelling techniques.

I still need a town name for this story so if you have any ideas don't be afraid to share. Just post your idea in the comments.


Dakota leaps off the railing, sprints to the middle of the square, and jumps in front of Audra. The bullet punctures her skin and she screams. Her momentum carries her across the Square. “No!” Audra shrieks, struggling against her chains trying to reach Dakota. “Hold your fire!” Leo yells desperately, right before the gun lets go of a second bullet. He races to his dying sister. “Leo,” she sputters and goes into a coughing fit, bringing up blood and bile. He picks up her head and lays it on his lap stroking her hair like their mother used to. “Yes?” He asks quietly, willing his voice not to break. He knew there was nothing to be done, no way to make her better, keep her alive. “Promise me you will not take my death in vain. I did what I did for a reason. Do not ignore it,” She says, becoming paler and paler as the seconds tick by. Leo struggles to formulate words and manages to squeak out, “I promise,” With that she sighs with relief and grins for the last few seconds and lets go of reality. Leo sits like that for a while, holding her head and stroking her hair. Slowly he realizes that somebody else is screaming. Audra. Leo reminds himself. Her wrists are red with blood from struggling against the chains and tears cleared their paths through the caked dirt on her face. She sits against the edge wall of the square, yelling Dakota’s name hoarsely. Leo gently places his sister’s head on the ground and walks up to Audra. “Dakota gave her life to save you,” He states, “Why?” She lifts her head and looks directly in Leo’s eyes opening her mouth to speak when a siren blares. “Five minutes,” Leo mutters under his breath. “What?” Audra croaks. “The assignment. If it isn't completed in less than five minutes by people then the machines take over. It has been three minutes. I was given the assignment of killing you and I failed.” “So what do I do?” Audra asks. “Well if Dakota thought that you are worth saving then so do I,” He tries to focus his brain on figuring out what to do first but he comes up with a blank. "So aren't you going to unchain me now?” Audra asks irritated. “Right, hold on,” He unhooks the chains from the post and wall but before he unlocks the one holding her hands together he pushes her out of the square despite the protests. She kicks and screams but Leo holds on. “Shut up or we’ll both be killed!” Leo snaps. She closes her mouth but glares at him the entire way out. When they find the remains of an old house to hide behind they get a good look at each other. Leo was about 6ft. with olive skin, dark brown hair, like his mother, that’s just long enough to brush past his eyebrows, fierce green eyes and lips that always hint as a smile like his father. Audra is about 5ft 7" with brown hair that, when in sunlight, shines gold, light brown eyes, and a grim face that rarely broke into a smile. “Can you unchain me now?” Audra asks softly. “I don’t think so,” Leo replies. “Well why not?” She asks her voice rising. “Just because I think you are worth saving, does not mean I trust you.” She leans against a pile of cement that used to be a wall and sighs. “What did I even do?” She says under her breath. “Nothing,” He answers back quietly so she can’t hear. “Might as well get comfortable, we’ll be sleeping here for the night." Leo says louder this time. “What?” She asks “We are in plain sight!" “They don’t check behind the houses that were burned to the ground,” He replies, “Why not? Are they full of chemicals or something?” She asks, checking her hands to see if they had been touched by some imaginary substance. “No, they’re full of memories.” His face transforms from his usual smile to a look of hurt and sadness. “You ok?” Audra asks. “I’ll be fine,” Leo says briskly before he curls up behind a boulder and falls asleep. Audra doesn't go to sleep right away and wonders if she should run or not. She takes one more look at Leo and decides that she has nowhere else to go before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.
End of Part Three

1 comment:

  1. Once again a very interesting story. I am not sure that you have really kept to the concept of 5 minutes. Also the writing needs to be polished as the volume of information you have included is a bit confusing. Have you considered taking your topic and writing it in different quantities, ie, 100, 500, 1000 words etc. This would help tighten your story line by making you focus on the stries essentials.

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